Redneck poroka

Evo, tole je idealna kombinacija – redneck poroka na parkiriscu Waffle House! Za povrh nekje v Georgiji. Lahko se temu rezimo, kolikor hocemo, ampak zanimivo je, da se udelezenci svoje podobe se kako zavedajo – a jim je glede tega vseeno.

Clanek o redneck poroki.

M-train

Evo, takole studentje managementa na Georgia Tech pojejo o tem, kaj se najbolj splaca studirat. Zakaj bi se matral z matematiko, z domacimi nalogami in z laboratorijskimi vajami, ce pa obstaja lazja pot, pa se vec punc tam studira?  He he he.

Oda majhnemu specemu pijancku, ki sem ga v zgodnjih jutranjih urah nasel v vezi

O! Sleeping drunk guy
who drools on the lobby tiles
whereforth art thou?

Hrrrr, hrrr, nom nom nom.
Aaa? Dur dur dur.
Leave me alone.

Sir, in the dark I nearly
smashed your head with the door
you will pay dearly.

I call my friend
laughing at the situation
tell him of the drunk sleeper.

No I am not drunk
I am not asleep
HRrrrr Hrrrrr Hrrrrrr.

Dude, where are you from?
Tell me now
I will take you home.

Gngngngn. AAAa? No no no.
ZZZzzzzzzzZZZ.
Hrrr hrrr hrrr.

How did you get here?
Andrew brought me. Who?
Andrew the liar. Droool.

I can’t have you
sleeping here.
My cute Italian neigbor
will freak out.

Funny, no response.
OK, po-po will
have to deal with this shit.

Police arrives,
sirens ablazing.
Not really,
but lights were brigt.

Did he break in?
No, but It was locked. I dunno.
Get up man! Get up!

What the fuck are you doing?
Gungun gun har har gzz.
I live here. Really.

Do you have some ID
that shows you live here
you silly goose?

Yeah yeah gnn gnn
don’t shine the light
in my bloodshot eyes. Auu.

This is Texas
driver’s license.
That’s not here.

Radio cackles
trouble on Colony Square.
One pig leaves.

Where do you live?
Colony Square.
You heard that on the radio, o_O ?

I came here with Marta.
Which station?
5 points. Little 5 points. I walked.

30 blocks? I don’t think so.
Scram. Don’t drive.
I would never brake the law.

Go away and never come back.
Gollum gollum. I fall asleep.
Vogons got nothing on me.

Racun za usluge

fckn dump

Pred nedavnim je bil Crni v  Cracker Barrel, najbolj prikladno poimenovani restavraciji v ZDA. O restavraciji sami vec ta petek v novi izdaji Fast Food Friday (juhu!), danes pa se osredotocimo na zabaven racun, ki sem ga za njihove usluge dobil na mizo. Po fckn & dumplin sem bil kar utrujen, moram priznati.

Susa

jezero

V Atlanti je ze nekaj mesecev huda susa. Celotna regija je ze dolgo casa brez dezja in voda postaja resnicen problem. Evo en clanek iz NY Times pred kaksnim mesecem.  Od takrat se zadeve niso v bistvu nic spremenile. Vode primanjkuje, prepovedano je prati avtomobile in zalivati travo, Coca-Cola je hotela pod Stone Mountain narediti zimski park z umetnim snegom, ampak so zadevo skenslali, ker ni dovolj vode. Jezero Lanier, ki je rezervoar za pitno vodo in po katerem Crni sem in tja jadra in sufa, je okoli 10m nizje, kot je normalno. Prislo je celo do nekega spora med drzavo Georgia in drzavama Alabama in Florida. Tidve sta namrec nizje od Atlante po reki in inzenirji, ki kontrolirajo jez na jezeru, morajo dol spustiti dovolj vode, da ne bi crknile neke skoljke in take stvari. Skratka, cel hec.

Zgleda, da bo voda res postala tako dragocena kot nafta.

Elektrika

elektrika

Cena elektrike v Ljubljani in cena elektrike v Georgii. Ajde, na grobo, v LJ stane kilovatna ura 7.655 evrocenta, v GA pa 4.657 centa. Torej cena elektrike v LJ je 2.4 x toliksna, kot v GA. Hecno, ne?

Povprecni american torej zasluzi nejke cez palec 2x toliko, kot povprecen Slovenec, nato pa ima ceno elektrike nekje 2.4x cenejso, torej si za enak procent druzinskega proracuna privosci 4.8x toliko porabe elektrike. Nic cudnega, da s takim veseljem postavljajo na tone bozicnih luck, he he.

Izposojeni genij

Email izmenajva med eno kolegico in njenim studentom, toliko da ne bo spet kdo okoli govoril o miticnih superduper ameriskih studentih:

Laua!

OMG i am like totaly freeking out rite now coz i want to c my old tests but i can’t get in touch with teh profs!! hellp!!11!; ive like emailed you 2x but u haven’t gotten them!! cna u meet me at some time to over this?!?! ur recitation slides dont hav the ansers can u tell me them? wot’s gastrulation agin?

peece,
Student A

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Dear Student A,

Send me the email addresses of the professors you’ve tried to reach and we’ll see if that’s the main problem. I cannot meet with you about the exams as I told the rest of recitation I would not make appointments during dead or finals week. Sorry I haven’t somehow gotten your other emails, maybe you should check with OIT about that. I am aware the recitation slides do not contain the answers – that’s to reward the people that attend recitation. At this point, study your notes and book to do your best on the exam.

Good luck,
LauRa

————————–————————–————————-

Larua,

But u said we could come to c u, why can’t i now? i dont no where the emails r that i sent to the profs, cant find them so i cant tell u the email addys. i go 2 recitation all the time, could u give me some of the ansers? wot’s gastrulatzon agin?

Student A

————————–————————–————————-

Sorry you somehow misunderstood my appointment deadline, that’s a mystery to me honestly. Sounds like you’re having some serious email mishaps over there too. Also, it’s strange that you go to recitation so often and I don’t remember your name. I made it a point to memorize all the recitation regular’s names but yours doesn’t ring a bell. You’re a pretty crazy guy huh? Are you sure it’s the 1520 recitation you’re attending?

LAURA

————————–————————–————————–

Lara

i no rite? my emaisl gonna crazy!1 I emailed teh profs and you and nobdy answered. I still just dont understand y u wont meet wit me bout my exams. Sometime b4 Monday is good for me. u said we could meet wit u and now u saying we cant and thats not fair. u met with my girl Student B but u wont meet wit me. I dont understand and need 2 do well, k? wots gastrulations agin?

Student A

————————–————————–————————–————

Wow, I guess I’m pretty lucky I’ve been getting these messages with all the email problems you’ve been having. Maybe the reason why the professors never got your emails is because the emails never got sent. That’s a really common mistake, not writing and sending emails. Again, I won’t be able to meet with you about your exams because that would be unfair to the students that replied to me on time, like “your girl Student B”. You can ask her about that, if you like. She showed me a pretty cool YouTube video of a panda, tell her hi for me next time you see her. Oh yeah, I also can’t meet because I’m out of the country till Christmas stalking the Wu Li lizards of Taiwan.

“Laura” <— note spelling

————————–————————–———————-

“LAURA”

can u least tell me wot gastulation does?

Student A

————————–————————–————————–

Student A,

Oh, sorry! I somehow missed your gastrulation question that you’ve managed to slip into the past 3 emails. Still having weird email troubles huh? Well, whatever you do – don’t try google. For some reason, google always messes up explaining gastrulation. Since google and wikipedia are run by the same 3 guys up at MIT, then they’ll have the same answer so don’t look at wikipedia either. Definitely don’t look in your book because it’s really out of date and gastrulation is something that changes from year to year. I think the Fernbank is having a nice exhibit about it right now though so you could check it out but if they say anything about amphibians and gastrulation – you don’t need to know that because amphibians don’t do gastrulation anymore as of 2004.

Happy Holidays!
Laura

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i’m dropping hte class, thx

Student B